just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
