You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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