i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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