I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
