there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
