his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
