Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
