Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
