i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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