Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize