So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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