all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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