but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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