I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize