You work out of a Hotel?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
how does that bad decision feel?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
