saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
