First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
do nipples grow back?
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