the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pants are for mortals
I would fuck him just for his dog
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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