No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
