i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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