the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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