We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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