ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
