i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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