It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
