Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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