He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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