we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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