I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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