Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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(516): View more from New York

I seem to have left my pride at pride

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(541): View more from Oregon

we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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(303): View more from Colorado

hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"

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(847): View more from Illinois

You did not just nickname me "Nipples".

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(914): View more from New York

you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.

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(818): View more from California

The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent

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