She said her name was "party"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize