you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
