nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
