this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
