Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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