Taylor Swift is so right about you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
