so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize