I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She announced her abortion via fbk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
