i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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