I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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