I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
