The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
