btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
