I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
