I could have mohawked her pubes.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
