I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
