I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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