why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
