fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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