this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
