i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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