she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
