ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
