just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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