Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize