Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
