when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I want a musical about memes.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
