u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
