5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
