it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
