i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize