You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
