This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
