Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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