maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
