I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
