i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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