It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
where does the pee come out of this thing
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
