yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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