this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
