Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
