so that wasnt chicken after all
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
