im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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