I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
