Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
