i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
