so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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