and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
