If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
