U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize