have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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