My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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