dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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