We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
