YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
