and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
