around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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