Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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